A cow on cannabis
You know what really makes me want to plunge? Switzerland’s Agriculture Ministry. Not because I’m a carnivore and think eating helpless vegetables is cruel or because I think they should stick to making chocolate. Nope, thats all fine and dandy! The problem is when they decide to place a ban on feeding cows cannabis…
Farmers in Switzerland agree that cannabis is an affordable way to feed their cows and keep them happy. Two birds with one stone – or two cows with one doobie! The Agriculture Ministry however states that the active ingredient in cannabis, THC, can get into cow milk and create a health risk problem. However, artificial growth hormones designed to increase milk production when there is already an oversupply of milk are considered perfectly safe by the ministry.
If anyone should be allowed to get high, its the cows. We’ve taken all meaning and fun out of their lives. We treat the cows like commodities, to use, tip over, and barbecue as we please. There are no cows living in the wild anywhere in the world, we have enslaved their entire population. Despite this, cows aren’t even on any endangered species lists because we no longer view them as creatures, but rather as burgers and bags of milk. They have nothing going for them besides exploitation. Do you hear them complain? No! Cows are always happy to serve. Just let the cows get high…
Of course, the ministry will argue that it’s our responsibility to educate the young cows about the dangers of drugs and peer pressure. Would you want your cow to grow up and spend it’s life served in burgers at McDonald’s, being fed to humans by employees making minimum wage? That’s what drugs will do to you according to the ministry. They claim to have studies proving that cows not consuming cannabis have much better chances of becoming a prime rib steak. I disagree. I think any cow that can pee in a cup for a drug test has all the necessary skills to become a prime rib steak, regardless of whether or not they eat raw marijuana.
Happy cows make for happier burgers and cannabis keeps cows happy. It’s a recipe for success. Take a look at these happy cows from California. Don’t they look happy? Do you want to make these cows sad? Of course not! Pull out your plunger and raise it in the air. Let the world know it’s time to pull the plug on the ban on feeding cows cannabis! THC does not accumulate in the food chain like poisonous mercury, yet fish have not been banned from living in the waters we have polluted and continue to make dangerous to our own health. Why take out our problems on the cows, just let them get high.
